Effect of fear and lack of confidence

So we all know fear is a big killer. I have heard people say fear is okay as it keeps us wary of things. It keeps us in check. But I think I found it otherwise, it seems in my case fear was causing me to make wrong decisions, it was making me negative as in predicting that I would loose the hand. And negativity boosts pessimism. I have been running like sickly for the last few months, whether its a MTT or Hypers 6 man 9 mans or 18 Man Turbos. I have lost sunday storm 66 vs AK vs 88 on flops of 6 A 3 for huge chip leads with my set getting beat by bigger set on river. I even started tweeting my bad beats. like insane beats where AA < A3 etc. I had lost complete confidence on Online poker, I even sent out an email to PS a month or so back mentioning about running bad. My bad beats got worse or so it felt. But today when I sat down, I thought, I will not worry about the variance and will just play the game with right decisions. I removed the idea from my mind that PS software is working against me. Hoping for better results, I started playing 180/45 mans. To my horror, things did not improve, I changed my bet sizing to not shove any hands, thinking shoving is not liked by the software at one point. But after loosing AA < A9, KK < A3 like atleast 5 times. I thought forget it, shoving does not make any difference. Back to my fearless state of mind, where defeat would have no impact on my playing I continued shoving at correct spots and holding a few and loosing a few. With about 6 games left out of 40ish games I played, I min cashed in like 2 or 3 180 mans and came 1 3rd in 45 man or so. With the remaining 6 I ran super hot or so it felt, when my AK would win a flip for a change. It felt good. Am pleased to say won 2 180 mans and amassed a ROI of 200 + in the 40 SNGS 45/180 mans. Not shabby for 2.5 hour of work.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=615416268490207 Life begins where fear ends....

Grinding MTTs today...back to my A game

Its been a while...need to get some big scores :-) I am thinking need to play...bigger buyins.. Goodluck... Will tweet my performance for the day